“ fuck me, fuck me!”at the top of her lungs. I just stood there trying to figure out what to do when she jumped on me! Her arms and legs were wrapped around me (not the easiest thing to do) when she bit my nipple through my shirt and then pulled the craziest shit I’d ever seen or felt. She let go and was hanging on by her teeth with the better part of my chest in her mouth. I started screaming as I peeled her face off me and threw her on the couch across the room. My god this bitch was fast, her ass had hardly hit the couch when she was back on me again. Now you’re probably thinking, Greg why didn’t you clock this chick and put her down? That’s a damn good question and I’ll tell you why. I can’t bring myself to harm a woman. Just can’t do it, nope. Anyway by this point my shirt was all ripped up and I was a bloody sweaty mess, and she was still coming from all sides.
I couldn’t help but think that here I am getting my ass kicked by a women that had her short hairs shaved into the shape of an heart. I thought back to my schooling and saw a piece of rope on the floor in the corner. I grabbed it and threw the little missy down and hogged tied her and left her on the couch. I left her there and went to the bar to find out who this chick belonged too. I located three of her girlfriends and had them follow me into the back. By the time we got back swinging monkey girl had fallen asleep. I told her friends the whole story and they were a bit skeptical until later when the chick came too and they heard her side of the story, plus I was the one covered with tooth marks and scratches. About a week later the chick showed up and wanted to thank me for not taking advantage of her condition. We later became fairly good friends. The shit I go through because I’m a Man. Peace.

Name: Greg Beck
Home: first bar stool to the left, make mine a Beam & coke please!, United States
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time till my fuckin birthday and my sac drops another inch!